One of a Kind
by dronaerys97
Summary: Bayonetta gets a present from Rodin and starts without knowing an all-out war between heaven and hell
1. Chapter 1

'Oh Rodin, do you really have to be so stiff all the time. You never let me have any fun. Real fun, that is. Not chasing Enzo's butt around and smashing some featherwings just because they get in the way. I mean something a bit more challenging like when I fought Jubileus, with which you could have helped me if you weren't that busy with mixing cocktails all the time.' Bayonetta said in a rather bored tone.

'Just for your information, Bayonetta, I was busy with a jam of my own in the inferno trying to keep the demons from getting on your ass too next to your good buddies from above and lord do those demons pack a punch.' Rodin returned.

The two of them kept bickering to each other for a couple more hours until The Gates of Hell was empty except for the two of them.

'Well , now that all the normal people are gone can you finally open shop, because I need more toys to play with.' Bayonetta said when she saw the last costumers leaving the bar.

'Heh, you want the naughty toys or the good girl toys?' Rodin said while the wall behind him flipped over and revealed all sorts of weapons varying from guns to swords to whips.

'Well, even though I am quite a naughty little witch and can't wait to test that black lace whip you got there, I will go with the good girl toys for only this once.' She said while admiring the whip that ended in five knots.

'I have got just the thing for you, give me a minute.' Rodin said while he went through a door behind the bar. He came back with an enormous box with air holes in it. A low growl could be heard from inside.

'My, my, Rodin. Did you get me a little puppy dog or a pussycat.' Bayonetta exclaimed as she heard the creature inside.

'Quite a bit of both actually. This little cutey comes straight from the deepest point in Hell.' he said as he opened the box and took the thing it contained out.

Upon seeing the "animal" Bayonetta couldn't hold herself and scratched the things neck.

'He or she is quite an extraordinary specimen. What is the name of this marvellous kitty pup thingy?' she asked while she petted it.

'It is called an Ashtichora, but prefers it if I call it Ash. Rodin said to her.

'We are going to have so much fun together.' Bayonetta said while she walked out of the bar.

'hey, what about your drinks! They are not free you know!' Rodin yelled at her when she was at the door.

'put them on Enzo's bloody tab, I don't have any money with me, isn't that right my little Ashy-washy'. She said back when she disappeared around the corner into the cold dark night.

'What have I done to deserve this. I'm only a demon after all.' Rodin sighed before he closed up shop

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Well the first chapter of the One of a Kind fan fiction. please leave review or give me your opinion. ( even if you don't like it)


	2. Chapter 2

One of a Kind

Chapter 2

When Bayonetta walked home with her little pet it started to rain. This didn't help her mood and the occasional angel that flew down to take a piece of her did not help either. But everything became better when she arrived at her house. Well, house…. in the human world we would call it a dump, but she felt right at home in that dirty, smelly and vermin infected apartment. The only thing she hated and scared the crap out of her were the cockroaches which she feared like nothing else. She could face a million angels and twenty gods with only one bullet without feeling insecure, but one cockroach was enough to make her jump on the couch and scream like she was set on fire.

Ashy-washy however was not so afraid and jumped towards the cockroach while Bayonetta was busy with screaming and hyperventilating at the same time. The ashticora looked at the cockroach and sniffed. It gave a growl and sent a fireball out of its eyes. The cockroach did not even get the chance to move an inch before being vaporized by the infernal flames.

"My, my, my. I didn't know Rodin gave me a bug destroying killing machine slash flamethrower. I am starting to like that grumpy old demon even more by the minute." She exclaimed upon seeing her little pet cough some sparks out of its mouth.

In the next couple of minutes Bayonetta sent Ashy-washy around her apartment to cleanse the place of bugs and other nasty things. While they were doing this Bayonetta heard a knock on the door. When she opened it she saw her other pet standing there. Even though he stalked her like a maniac for the last twenty years she had grown fond of him, but never made him notice it. God what was she a bitch, I mean witch sometimes.

But before she had the chance of embracing him and letting him in, Ashy-washy was on top of Luka and retracted her claws a bit too close to Luka's face. He gave a scream that would took all the manliness of every man that made it and threw the thing of. Before Luka got incinerated Bayonetta interfered and grabbed the ashticora by its neck. After Bayonetta scolded the animal she closed the door so that she was alone with her dear Cheshire.

They slowly turned towards each other and started to break into a passionate kiss until Luka broke it and pointed with his eyes towards the end of the hallway. There stood her long lost friend Jeanne, who looked quite pissed to say the least. "Cereza, how dare you to kiss my fiancée in a way like that. Weren't you dating Rodin of all people, or demons for all I care." she said before storming away in a haze of red and white.

"Cheshire, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!" screamed Bayonetta at him.

"I'm sorry, all right. I just came here to tell you that I'm engaged and all, not to get a sort of booty call from you." He said in return.

Bayonetta looked him in the eyes. Gave a smirk and pointed her finger towards the way Jeanne had stormed. "I thought you could do better Cheshire. I didn't know you liked older women."

"Well you know what they say. The older they are, the more experienced they are." He said with a small smile on his lips.

"I hope you will be happy together." Bayonetta said before slamming the doors in Luka's face.

She took Ashy-washy in her arms and started to cry a little before falling asleep during some program about cats and how to treat them.

Meanwhile in the Heavens

"My lord, we have found the infernal creature that was prophesized to destroy us all. And it's in the hand of that witch." The small angel said with respect.

"Take the witch's life and deliver the creature to me." The big boss himself said.

"But of course, your radiance. We will see it done soon.


	3. Chapter 3

One of a Kind

Chapter 3

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What should have been a knock on the door became an explosion. Bayonetta carefully stepped through the burning remains of what had been a door and said to herself 'I need to be more careful when I have my rocket launchers equipped and kick against a door. It was such a nice door.' The smoke in the hallway was dissolving and from a door on the end of it, the head of her good buddy Enzo appeared.

'What the hell was that good for!', he screamed at her, 'I have just replaced the damn thing since your last visit. My wife says she is leaving me if you keep going on with this no knock, just explosions thing!'

'I'm sorry, Enzo, next time I will try to kill you as well, if I will visit again.', she said while pointing a finger at him. 'But I didn't come here to argue about your house. Did you know Jeanne and Luka are getting married? The bastard was crazy in love with me until the incident from last year.'

'Of course I know they're getting married. They personally invited me to come and Luka wanted me to become the best man, god knows why. And I can understand why he left you. Crashing yourself into a train driving 400 miles per hour while being on a motorbike chased by at least a hundred feather faces could make any man think of ending a relationship before you end their lives.' Enzo said to Bayonetta while she was claiming his couch and tv for the moment, switching channels out of boredom.

'Enzo, it was just some harmless fun. Only the train driver died, but that was it. Not that he will be missed by anyone. He looked as poor as a rat. Talking of vermin, did you know about my new pet, mister I Agree Why He Left You?' she asked while throwing the remote at the tv which exploded upon impact, making the room filled with electrical sparks.

'The hell, Bay! Why do you need to be so freakin' destructive all the time! Even though I wanted a new one.', he screamed, 'But were wandering off the subject. Yeah, I heard about your new pet from Rodin. Quite the exterminator, huh.'

'Yes, my little Ashy-Washy is quite the vermin killer. It could make me rich, if I had any need for money. But I don't need money. I need you. And you know why? I want you to sabotage the wedding. Show Luka you can't fuck with a witch.' Bayonetta said in a stern tone to the small Italian guy.

'Guess he already has had Jeanne.', Enzo said quietly in himself. Bayonetta grabbed him by his throat and looked him in the eye. The only thing he could see was pure anger and he could swear he saw her catsuit dissolve for just a second.

'You WILL do this or I WILL kill you.'bayonetta said ice cold before storming out of the apartment, leaving Enzo alone in the mess she had made. 'Guess I don't have a choice then.' He said upon picking up the shards from the h=glass of the screen.

When Bayonetta got home she noticed two things. The first being that she had forgotten to blow up Enzo's apartment entirely and the second that half the building was on fire. She used her power to manipulate time and walked in. once she came to her apartment she saw the door was bashed in and she ran in to try to save her pet. It was nowhere to be seen. The only thing she found in the inferno was a white feather.

'We have retrieved the creature, my lord. The witch has no idea it was us. We will win this final conflict with the help of it. Praise Jubileus!' the angels were screaming ecstatically upon giving Deus the Ashticora.

'Good work, my minions. You will see proper reward for your actions, but for now, I want you to kill the witch too. We can't afford to have this mission threatened by a woman that can hardly keep her clothes on while fighting us. May Jubileus grace you on your quest.' And with that Deus walked towards the radiating light above his throne.

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Sorry for the short chapter this time, but I promise the next one will be longer. I hope you all enjoy reading this and please review or tell me what you think of it.


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